Run.

The trembling of your fingers,
before they touch my bruise
The teardrop in your eyes,
when you see me hurting
and the pain when you stifle a cry
I feel it all.

You know my body like
a roadmap, you know where 
my deepest scars are,
and I feel your touch
stretching out new skin against
the scarred terrain of mine.

You know I can’t stop,
and I know you want me to,
but believe me, I try. And I fall.
and I try again. I try not to fail
like I try not to breathe, 
but I FAIL.

But when you are not around,
my mind doesn’t want to try
It just wants freedom.
Freedom from this constant buzz,
this constant hum of disdain 
Letting you down like always.

Why don’t you stop trying
when I do, why won’t you be like
everyone else, look the other way
there is only disappointment
on this road, and I cannot hurt you
anymore.

So I need to go, run 
like I always do, run away
from you and run closer
to the end because
If you stop me then
I would.
If you stop me,
Then I would.